Martial Arts

 

The Game: Martial arts, is not a combat form. Martial arts, is not a line of work. Martial arts, is not a line of personal defense. It is not meant for killing people. It is hardly the trade for physical fitness. It brings no peace, removes no intoxicants, improves no physical superiority. But, it does all those things, if one can figure out the first phase of the trade, practice, and art. So, let's create a martial art, and see what we invented. Maybe it's familiar; you already trained at something, like walking as a child. Or, if you're in a wheelchair, getting someone to walk for you. If you're blind, you learned how to eat. If you're deaf, you learning how to sing. And if you're gay, you learned how to cook.

Hand Style: Your dominant hand, is your coonie. Your non-dominant hand, is your strep. Your test balance object, is your cup. Now, let's come up with a task, with the help of a table, and a chair before it. Something you want to do. You take the cup, in your coonie, and you put your strep, palm down. Then you drop, the cup, onto your strep, and turn the palm up. Maybe two fingers out. Maybe flip both ways for the catch. Maybe a bounce, or a toss back to your coonie. Whatever you do, just figure out, what you just did. Then you practice at it, without the coonie, only using your cup and strep. You just learned how to knife fight, try a wooden pallette, a dull blade, or if you're expecting incarceration, a nice dinner knife, to figure out how to avoid traps from convicts that will haunt you in your head for your entire life since you play with a dinner blade (you crazy fuck).

Game Style: Now, invent a fun game. Any type you want, house rules. Take a card game, a lottery game, a domino game, a dice game, a board game, even a social word game. Maybe a drama game, to play with yourself or with friends. It has to start as solitaire, with a practice maneuver, to use your hand position at, to figure out, what did you just invent. What does this maneuver do, in your darkest fantasy, to win you something. That's your form of derivative of science, you already know that subject. But how? Well, you made a meal for yourself, ate a box of rice, or even had a play match with dad. Maybe you read a book, played a sport, played a traditional game, had a job, learned how to cope with a disability, or figured out the developmentally disabled's humor. All of it is helpful.

Academic Style: Now, we come up with a rounders, to get everyone to play our game, going from solitaire, the observation of dynamic, to victory condition, so you can stop playing the solitaire. Now everyone can play, because there's a way to win. You've just created the cheat, to solitaire, the group rule, after you figure out a victory condition, without breaking the rules of your game. Now you're all together, on any solo variation you want. This is how you all have a conversation, and figure out what you've learned. You now have a family tradition. There is no name for it, don't give it one. It's just combat.

The Culinary Meal: This is the most challenging to figure out, but the second hardest to do, the last stage listed below as the true challenge. You have to figure out how to make a cheap recipe, out of your game. One that works, is preexisting, and of course, helps you out, or if you can't do it, use a friend that played the game. This is a potluck, a gathering of friends outside, indoors, or otherwise, at a table. Play a sticks game, called a domino, at the table, with suggestions to each other, to share food, with the particular victory condition, as a bet. Winner, picks up the tip. Never the loser, you bomb your waiter or your cook or your special home preparation guy. The riddle, is that the reward, is giving. That's for the last stage.

The Children's Tradition: That's right, you are now a parent! Yay! Since the reward is giving, you now have to pass your fighting tradition on to your kid, and repeat the entire process above, until you get right here, to grandparent. You are now destined for power, you are a Witch. Or as I prefer, a Thief.